RSS Feed

Category Archives: kidney stone

>Be careful what you wish for . . .

>Wishes come true in odd ways.(Cue violins) On Thursday I jokingly told a friend that I needed a brief hospital stay so that I could rest up a bit. I was kidding!(Enter umbrella-toting cricket in top hat) That night Bob and I sighed that we would do anything for some uninterrupted hours together. I guess that makes this my lucky weekend. (Orchestra swells, cricket sings in tremulous tenor.)

“When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires will come to you.
If your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star, as dreamers do.”

Some wishes are granted by the Blue Fairy. Genies from magic lamps deliver others–not to mention an army of assorted fairy godmothers, elves, and wizards. The delivery mechanism for my dream-come-true? A kidney stone. Why did the Brothers Grimm never think of this plot twist? Oh right, because prolonged excruciating pain and nausea don’t make for a fun summer read. Don’t tell JK Rowling.(Cue singing cricket)

“Fate is kind, she brings to those who love
the sweet fulfillment of their secret longing . . .”

Yes, my dream hospital stay materialized. I got a six hour nap at Kaiser Walnut Creek, with a complimentary CT scan. Bob held my hand and talked to me whenever I came to. Everything was filtered and soft around the edges (morphine induced fuzziness, quite romantic.) That made me two for two on my wishes. But the fairy tale doesn’t end there. The happily ever after continued with a take-out order of vicodin on the side.

Who needs Mary Poppins or Glinda the Good? I’ve got Sly. (Of course I had to name my kidney stone if he’s going to be the magical granter of wishes in an upcoming Disney film.) Do you think a jagged two millimeter chunk of minerals would look cute in a top hat with an umbrella? Been done, I guess. How about a zoot suit and Fedora? Costuming decisions can wait. Sly needs to finish his painful journey and exit downstage. I just hope the rest of the Family Stone doesn’t follow. At least not until I need another good nap.

“When you wish upon a star your dreams come true . . .”

Advertisements